


"Dectda"

by redwinehouse (orphan_account)



Series: Cranial Capacity INDEFINITE HIATUS, BUT A FULL STORY LINE WAS COMPLETED [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 22:10:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/redwinehouse
Summary: "All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we've tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they're probably right." - Cathy Guisewite





	"Dectda"

  


[ ](http://www.dazzlejunction.com/generators/image-generator.php)

  


Sherlock Holmes was a hard man to understand. Some people could argue that he wasn't a man, or even a human. He had a group of people that he was required to keep in contact with to do his job, but that was a necessity - like eating or sleeping. He would drop that social circle if he could, but then he could no longer be the world's only consulting detective.

John Watson was an absolute shock. A flat mate? Not necessary, but definitely a convenience financially. But a best friend? Unheard of.

Then there was you, the love of his life – although he would never say such a thing out loud to anyone in the outer circle, god forbid. He would never hear the end of it. _Oh, Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all! Oh, I knew you were full of shite! You are sooooo cute! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"_ NO. Absolutely not.

Finally, the worst of all, the end all be all, the never ending crooning and swooning causing monster - his 6 month year old daughter Jade, currently wiggiling on his chest, giving him a gummy smile.

"Dectda!" she sang happily, hammering his chest and kicking her feet. " _Dectda_!"

Sherlock was in the middle of a deducing session and you were currently at work. This was the new normal, deducing with a baby on his chest or in his lap.

He loved it.

People were both shocked and horrified when they heard that there was going to be another Holmes, which was not appreciated. Granted, it was understandable. Sherlock Holmes as a dad did not make sense and when one brought it down to brass tax, it was a pretty scary thought. But you knew a side of him that no one else did, and you had confidence.

It didn't start out on the right foot.

"She's like a screaming fig. I don't see the point of her," Sherlock stated dryly as he held her for the first time. Sherlock almost needed a hospital room himself afterwards.

Since then, he had been a man obsessed. It was his theory that if Jade was to spend time around "the moronic and boring," she herself would become moronic and boring. He could barely put her down. But when he did, he left her on the floor, on the table, in the hallway, and even on the stairs. You had begged Mrs. Hudson and John to keep an eye out for such reckless baby abandonment and they had been working non-stop.

"I don't know what you want," Sherlock said plainly as his baby patted his cheek happily. "If you plan on going anywhere in life you'll need to speak English and this 'dectda' business is just lunacy."

"Dectda!"

"Father."

" **DECTDA**!" Jade shrieked, causing Sherlock to hold her at arm's length.

"Okay! Okay! I'm _'dectda'!_ You don't have to shout!" he scowled.

John had moseyed into the living room and made himself comfortable. "So what's this 'dectda' thing I could probably hear from down the street?"

Sherlock let out a long, aggravated sigh as he brought his daughter back down and hugged her to his chest. "Apparently, my daughter can't say 'father,' so now I'm 'dectda.'" Sherlock grumbled as Jade played with his hair. He was trying very hard not to smile as she babbled and tugged at his black curls.

John shot him a look. "Well, yeah! She's only 6 months old, Sherlock," he asserted. "and you should be teaching her 'dad' or 'dada,' not 'father'."

"Either way, she's obviously incredibly stupid for her age. Anderson bumped into her. I knew it was a bad idea to take her outside but you two convinced me and now she is a bumbling fool!" Fool or not, he still kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, well you still punched him in the face. So that was worth it," John added. "She is far from being an idiot, Sherlock. Six months is the minimum for when they start to learn how to talk, and here she is already up with her first word."

Sherlock raised an eyebrow, which he had to quickly bring down because Jade had begun to slap him in the eye. "And you know this how?"

"I read!" John answered defensively. "There happens to be a lot of baby books around and I thought I might as well be a help," he ended a little sheepishly.

Rather than make fun of him, Sherlock remained quiet, returning his focus to Jade. John knew this silence was a Sherlokian form of 'thank-you,' and he was going to take it.

"Hey, all," you called, strolling into 221B. On some days you left work during the late afternoon due to motherhood, so you were happy to come home while the sun was up. However there was no way you could ever stop going back to the forensic center. It was your life's blood.

"Hey!" John called.

"About time," Sherlock shot.

" **MA**!" Jade shrieked.

Sherlock jumped to his feet, holding her eye-to-eye. "So you know her name and you don't know mine? What is this!? What is wrong with you!?" he began to shake her. You screamed and snatched her away.

"ARE YOU INSANE, YOU FUCKING MORON!?" Jade began to cry.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Look, now you made her cry."

"Okay, let's go play with your train," John answered you prayers silently as he took Jade upstairs to deal with her.

"You don't shake a baby, Sherlock!" You were seeing red.

Sherlock crossed his arms. "Well, it's not like she told me to stop," he said haughtily.

You grit your teeth. "That's because she's a _baby_! Have you ever heard of shaken baby syndrome? You shake your child enough so that his or her brain is damaged! She could have had whiplash you fucking asshat!" You rarely swore, but accidental child endangerment warranted it. You began to cry.

They were still weird to him – emotions. But he loved you, and it broke his heart to see you cry. After a few moments of hesitation, he strode over to you and wrapped his arms around you. "You're right. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

You felt something on the top of your head and you realized he had kissed it. "She threw a pickle at me today." You felt the laugh in his chest against your ear. "I don't think she expected it to be sour, but whatever it was she did not-like-it," he punctuated the last three word with great emphasis.

"Well, she shouldn't be eating pickles anyway," you said with a small laugh.

Sherlock gently lifted your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. His brow furrowed for a moment as if he had never seen you. "I just realized that she has your hair. They're just wisps and it makes her like and old man, but hopefully it will turn out relatively decent."

"'She.'"

" _'She,'_ whatever."

You cocked your head. "You know, for someone who's so smart, you're quite dumb."

Sherlock slightly tilted his head up so that he was literally looking down at you.

You rolled your eyes, but continued. "Can you really not figure out what she means when she says 'dectda'?" Sherlock looked to the side, trying to hide how hard the cogs in his head were turning.

"No," he finally admitted.

You smiled. "What she means is 'detective dad.'"

The innocence seemed to even overwhelm Sherlock because he leaned down to your level and captured your lips into a long, sweet, passionate kiss. It was soft at first, and you felt a loving warmth blossom within your body. Perhaps it was because he had been alone all day with a baby that Sherlock had changed the innocent kiss into something ferocious. His lips were urgent against your own, which parted easily as he picked you up and you immediately wrapped your legs around his waist.

Your fingers scratched and pulled at his hair while his attacked your neck, kissing, biting and sucking all of the right places. He threw you onto the couch and climbed on top of you, pinning your arms above your head. With amazing dexterity, Sherlock had unbuttoned your blouse in a flash. He sat up, his fingers lightly exploring the skin on your stomach.

"What's wrong?" you asked, immediately getting self-conscious. You began to button up your shirt when Sherlock grabbed your wrist.

"No," he said, he voice deeper than normal. "you're just...so pretty."

You responded by grabbing both sides of his face and pulling him down to you, smashing your lips together.

"John's right upstairs with our baby," you mumbled heatedly against his mouth. "We only have five minutes, or so."

Sherlock chuckled. "Every man can do five minutes if it is required. Clear yes or no please," he all but begged before pulling you into another ferocious, sinfully delicious kiss.

"Yes, yes!"

He chuckled against you ear. "Excellent." You heard him undo his belt buckle while you fiddled with your own clothes. You let out a content sigh when you became one.

"I used to think this was a waste of a person's time," he half laughed and half growled with a thrust of his hips. He buried his face in your neck when you grabbed his, pulling him down harder while pulling yourself up.

You gripped his hair and pulled his head back, forcing him to look you in the eyes before you bit those cupid's bow lips, followed by a kinder kiss. Your toes curled when Sherlock slipped an arm around your waist and thrusted deeper.

"Oh, no, no, no. Don't you dare," you warned playfully serious as he placed a hand on the couch's armrest. You snapped your hips up, causing Sherlock to gasp. You watched the thin sheath of sweat that had cloaked him.

He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes wide, hair damp, and voice deep. "You said five minutes. We have to get this done. Fast."

~*~

"Okay, so Jade's asleep and seems perfectly fine. I don't think you have anything to worry about." John stopped and cocked his head. You both sat on the couch, looking as if you had both run a mile. "So what have you been up to?"

"Reading," you said.

"Intercourse," Sherlock answered plainly. "Did I mention our daughter is a genius?"

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter is going to start another arc and we will be following a serial killer case. We're going to get...dark. I enjoyed exploring the conflict in the, "I Cried for You on the Kitchen Floor" chapter, and you all seemed to as well based on the hits. 
> 
> I hope that Sherlock was in character for this one. 
> 
> Peace and love <3


End file.
